Fri 9 Nov 2018
To find the truth and light within you, don’t seek it.
You have been brought up not to express yourself, you have been told and taught to bury your feelings and bad thoughts. This is a huge error in humanity. When you bury your feelings, when you dismiss your thoughts, you only put them inside yourself, where you ignore them. They add day after day, year after year until they are so big and so ignored that you don’t feel or notice them anymore. You distract yourself from these feelings and thoughts, you compensate. You eat, you laugh, you enjoy yourself in the company of others, because they are louder and happier. You do everything you can to fix this ”problem”. You take pills, you take drugs, you seek thrills, new acquaintances, new lands, new sights, gurus, teachers, gods, spirits… Anything to help you with this feeling of despair, these thoughts of disgust, envy, sadness and hatred. The night is especially difficult for you. The darkness creeps up on you and keeps you awake, if you cannot self-medicate yourself to sleep.
You start to crave light, you do anything to have a moment of refuge from this constant terror. It doesn’t matter what type of light it is, false light, artificial light, organic light, cold light, blinding light, light of god, light of masters, spirits… does not matter as long as it chases away the darkness.
But this light is un-true, it does not come from yourself, from your core, it comes from outside of you, it is a band-aid that falls of to quickly.
So you start contemplating death. You delve into darkness and try to fight it with false light or with more darkness, and deeper into the darkness you are pulled.
Everyday your darkness multiplies, it grows like a cancer within you, attracting more darkness into your life. You don’t understand why everything in your life goes wrong, you are stupefied by all your bad luck, you can’t imagine what makes you feel so bad most of the time.
The truth is that your darkness has become a black hole, a cancer spreading and creating more bad feelings and dark thoughts. It festers and corrupts everything in your life. And you fight it constantly, the battles goes on everyday inside you and you don’t even notice it. You don’t notice that you’re losing. All your energy goes to this battle, into the black hole and it grows. No wonder you don’t have any energy, no wonder you are feeling so weak, no wonder you manage to build yourself up for a bit only to attract some disaster that cuts you down again. Is this your life? To always fail and be miserable?
The truth is that the darkness, lies you tell yourself and untruths within you are seeking your attention.
You are truth and light in your natural state, you don’t need God, a saviour, a guardian spirit or a master/teacher/guru to save you from yourself or the terrors in your life. Nobody else than yourself is responsible for your internal happiness.
So to discover your own natural state of light and truth, you must set out on a journey to discover your darkness and untruths within you. You must go through the dark night of your soul. You must develop detachment to yourself.
You must be brave enough to turn inward, to see and feel that within you that you are terrified of and acknowledge it, feel it, think it, embrace it and let it go.
If a thought of hate comes up, ”I hate myself”, then don’t be afraid to think it.
Be detached and think ”I hate myself”, embrace it and let it go. Don’t hang on to it, don’t think it and at the same time put it back in. Just because you think it doesn’t make it true. What makes it true is if you act upon it and express it out into the world.
The dangerous part is if you don’t let theses emotions and thoughts go.
Eventually you might believe them and you might believe you are this person and there is nothing that can change that. You set your darkness in stone and cement and build your personality on that foundation. A foundation that is untrue. A foundation with cracks and holes where darkness is multiplied and erode your life and spirit.
You don’t need a healer, You need to learn how to heal yourself. You don’t need a guru, you need to learn how to become so pure that you yourself hear the voice of god and truth. THERE IS NO ONE WHO CANNOT BECOME PURE AGAIN. No one who is so beyond redemption. No one who cannot be forgiven.
In meditation, adopt a strong neutral and empty internal position.
Sit firmly in a comfortable position (do not lie down) and don’t change this position throughout the whole meditation session.
Be clear on the purpose of the meditation. (to see, feel and think all negative, dark and horrible within you) and break it down (without thinking about it and making it into a mental exercise) to the most fundamental and basic feeling or thought.
Don’t engage in the story!
Don’t get caught up in the details and don’t let yourself believe anything about you, no matter what. This is what it means to adopt a strong and neutral internal position.
Don’t scratch you nose, don’t move a muscle.
Clasp you hands together if you notice your arms are restless.
Be absolutely still, don’t move a single muscle.
Be strong and sit firmly in one position through the entire session.
1. Begin by being still.
2. Take a couple of big breathes and calm down.
3. Be clear on your purpose, state and command within yourself (Now I will let all dark and negative thoughts, feelings and emotion energies come forward for processing, acknowledgement, embracing and letting go) Intend for everything to be discarded after viewing (to help with this you can imagine a fire in front of you where all these energies are being sucked into after your viewing).
4. Then let it all come, don’t be afraid to experience this. You will notice that many thoughts and feelings come back again and again in huge amounts. This indicates to you just how much they have been created inside you and multiplied with each time you have renewed them. They can be in the millions.. You can round them all up when you find they are repeating, round them all up and intend for the source of them and all layers to be rounded up and let them go into the fire. You will also notice that they come back in different parts, in different perspectives and different times. Just tirelessly continue..
One session will not be enough. There is no telling how many sessions will be enough. There is no telling how long each session must be. That is up to each individual case and it will only hurt and be detrimental to give an example.
But what is very important is that once this process starts it must be finished, until there is no more darkness left.
And once that is done the natural light and truth within you will have no problem to shine in your life. You will have no problem to stand strong in your life when the external world gives you a hard time. You will have no problem to turn inward and find your own truth, guiding light and answers for your questions.